'[I'm] telling my husband, 'Good luck finding a supermodel girlfriend': Woman gives husband of 21 years a startling reality check after discovering that he's obsessed with his ex

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  • 01
    AITA for telling my husband good luck finding a thin supermodel girlfriend now that he's unemployed?
  • 02
    I (46F) have spent the past 21 years in a very emotionally repressive marriage with my husband (50M). There always seemed to be something new that I fell short of. We have 6 kids together (19M, 17F, 14F, 13M, 11F, and 10M).
  • 03
    My husband had wanted 6 kids, and I wanted 4 at the most. I was made to feel bad about the fact that I had "made" him compromise with 5 kids, and our youngest son was a surprise baby. His LDS church family and friends looked down on the use of pain medication to "cheat" situations.
  • 04
    They said that the mother's body was built for natural birth, so my husband was upset I opted for an epidural with our fifth and sixth. He refused to consider any form of outside childcare for our kids, and insisted I do not work. I felt pressured to be the perfect housewife who never made the same dish twice in a week, ever.
  • 05
    But worst of all is the fact that after our first child was born I learned the extent of my husband's obsession with his ex. I'm medium height and have to work to keep fit. His ex was tall and rail thin, and they shared a love of skiing.
  • 06
    They broke up when she was 23 and he was 24, and he's always in conversation with friends, described ideal beautiful women as that 22 or so year old who is tall, super thin, and super athletic. When I told him to stop describing his ex as his definition of beauty, he'd say " Your inability to change your height is your problem." He asked if he should start claiming that Boise, Idaho is the best vacation spot ever, better than Paris and Milan
  • 07
    because Boise's my hometown and we wouldn't want to hurt my feelings for the sake of objectivity now. My husband was laid off in late 2020, got a job in May 2021. He was laid off from that job December 2023 and is having ego issues because everybody interviewing him is younger than him.
  • 08
    I had the opportunity to provide childcare for 2 neighborhood kids but he shot the opportunity down, saying the money I'd make is insignificant. I tried to help him manage his job applications. That's where the big fight happened- he ranted that there's no way a 36 year old knows close to what he knows about the industry. So there's no way he's going to waste time being interviewed by a mid thirties idiot recruiter.
  • 09
    And then he started saying that this would be easier if I had some earning potential. I was angry because he wanted a traditional dynamic and now this. I said it's funny he thinks a 36 year old knows nothing but that his ex, back when she was 23, already was this all knowing genius, not to mention gorgeous.
  • 10
    He replied that she at least has things to capitalize off of. I replied that I'm done- good luck finding his supermodel ideal as an unemployable 50 year old. He screamed "Thanks for kicking me when I'm down!" AITA? I've often asked him how he'd feel if I started obsessing about the CEOs of the world compared to him. He claims that's completely different and another projection on my part.
  • 11
    PeyroniesCat "Your age and unfortunate tendency to be laid off are your problem." NTA.
  • 12
    [deleted] NTA start taking online certification courses. Amazon has several. Get a degree. Start an online business. Get your own bank account and start paying yourself for the services you provide. Stop telling him. what you're going to do.
  • 13
    With these type of patriarchal men, the best response is "I hear you" and then go do your own thing. If they ask "do you agree?" I've said it doesn't matter, you're in charge (for now)".
  • 14
    HistoricAli To all the girlies who want so bad to be tradwives... Does this sound like a happy way to spend your one life? Obviously NTA but girl move on. He's a pig and he's never going to not be a pig.
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10443570944

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